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Sep. 12th, 2016

Pink and Gray

As soon as I came back to Hey!Say!JUMP fandom, I found that Yuto Nakajima has stepped further into the acting world. He is one of my favorite actors in JUMP and what makes me even happier is the fact that his debut in the big screen as the lead role is this movie: PINK & GRAY, a movie adaption from Shigeaki Kato's novel. If you're a fan of Johnny's Entertainment, you sure know that this novel was Shige's debut in literary work, the first Johnny talent to debut as writer to be exact. I even congratulated him on my post. But I left the fandom after that and completely lost with everything. I love JUMP and NEWS, so it's impossible to skip this movie since it's the combination work of my two favorite fandom.

Check out my full review on this movie on my blog: http://denisaroseno.blogspot.co.id/

Aug. 28th, 2016

An Option

What lies beneath this friendship? Is it real or is it just fantasy that you made for me?
Then when you feel like it, you could end it as you please?
Why invited me in the first place and made me believed that what we had was real?
Only to leave me all alone when you found new company?
I could never bear to see the sadness in your eyes, even if it's just a little.
But it seems that it doesn't matter for you to see me breaking?
I stayed awake for you to listen to all your worries.
But you left without even a goodbye once you feel better?
I ask you everyday about your well-being.
But I don't think that I crossed your mind even just a little.
I always have one-sided love
But to have one-sided love in a friendship that I believed was real
was so much more heartbreaking than having my heart torn by the guy I loved
If only I could just leave you as easy as the way you left me
I can't.
Maybe I'm the only one who need you and willing to be with you
in any condition and circumstances
while you only need me when you feel alone
You are my priority, but to you, I'm just an option
And yet, still... I can never leave you

Aug. 25th, 2016

Love Yourself?

The thing that I hate about myself is:
I always feel like people might get annoyed with me, ever since I was a kid. Although it has something to do with some childhood terrible experiences, the trauma lives within me until now. And the worst thing is when I sense that the person whom I used to call a good friend is no longer see me as their friend. And I wouldn't dare to ask him or her why. I would just accept his sudden coldness towards me and decided to leave for good without properly saying goodbye.
Talking about a goodbye, that's also one of the things where I'm worst at. I've cut ties with few people without words because it was simply too hurt for me, and I left certain places without a proper parting words. I couldn't bring myself to do that like others can normally do. I have these weird feelings that people might will be annoyed and they wouldn't careless. Again, because I'm probably thinking about other's opinion too much, I ended up ignoring them and let them think of me as careless and quiet person so I don't have to explain myself. In the end, I'm so used with it that I truly become careless of my surroundings.
I guess if I were born as someone else, I would hate this version of me, and again, because I couldn't love myself enough, I'm feel like no one else would.

Nov. 18th, 2014

Little Bro

Although he can be so annoying sometimes (or most of the time), we all are agree that he's the clown of the family, our source of laugh, and without him around, it feels lonely here. But this is life. He's a boy, he needs to 'hijrah' no matter what so he can live independently. We are also proud of him that he managed to get into Sebelas Maret University. You know, we had to fight with him to force him to study so he would do well on the exam. A lot of arguments and fights before his leaving because we were not sure that he would be able to live alone in Solo. He's the youngest, and he acted like 12 years old most of the time, so it's normal for us to be worried. Anyway, we know that in the end, life would force him to get out of his comfort zone, and now it has been a month since he started living alone in Solo. Usually, my mom had to wake him up in the morning. Trust me, it is not easy an easy job. He sleeps like a dead person. But now, he is forced to wake up by himself if he don't want to be late for college. So far, I guess it went well. It must be a lot of trouble for him at first, but we have faith in him that he will do well. Life will teach him to live by himself. Maybe this way, he can finally learn to be responsible.
But still... he is the youngest in the family, therefore, we love him the most. And I miss my naughty one, my partner in crime, one who fights with me and then forgive and forget.
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Sep. 21st, 2014

Patience and Growing Up

Sometimes our heartache comes from our own mind. We feel so miserable when something doesn't go the way we want it to be. We will blame other people for not cooperating with us. The truth is, it's our own expectation that make us suffer in the end.
So, should we give up?
Do we have no choice but to stop putting high expectation?
Should we run away from the things we have started because our own heartache?
Maybe a life without anyone would be better, we think.
Everyone has been in that state. A state where we think the world is unfair and we want to run away from it. A state where we think everyone else is just getting in our way to reach our dreams. The journey where we face the most difficult times and hit the wall that seems can't be broken. We're stuck. We feel depressed and keep questioning, "why can't this happen the way I plan it? I've worked hard. I've put a lot of efforts into it?"
The answer for everything is very easy yet very hard to apply: patience
That's right. Patience. It is a very simple solution for all of our problems in the world, but why is it so hard for us to be patient when things start to go wrong? Why do we choose to put our anger first instead of our patience? Everyone knows the basic knowledge: an angry heart will never result a good thing especially when making decision, but we suddenly forget about that when something disappointed us. We may not born with the same character and attitude, we will always find someone or something doesn't match with our character, but we don't have to face that with anger. We just have to be open minded and again, always be patient.
"Oh, it's easy for you to tell us to be patient, you don't know what I feel, you don't know what I'm going through..!"
Some stubborn mind might will think that way, but again, it's because it loses its patience that our mind refuse to listen to any advice. Life is about our process to grow up. Growing up isn't always about 12 to 25 and then you officially become adult. Growing up is about the growth of characters as well. That's why even if you're going to 40 or 80, you will keep growing up as long as there's something inside of you that you need to change. As long as you keep trying to make yourself a better person, it's called growing up. The more we grow, the more patient we should be, because the more challenging life ahead of us. That's why maturity is not just about number.
And above of all, we have to keep asking for His guidance so we will not get lost. Patience can be grated to you if you keep trying and learn to apply it in your life and as long as you keep asking for Allah SWT for it. Once you master the knowledge of patience, the world will be yours, because nothing can get you down and nothing can destroy your spirit. Be patient and be thankful, always.
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Jul. 22nd, 2013

Summer Holiday

So, I've watched Scrap Teacher, Itazura na Kiss, GTO 2012, and now I'm about to watch Hammer Session. It's not like I don't have any interesting thing to do. I'm just too lazy to do other things so I will watch dorama all the time :")

Apr. 14th, 2013

emo

Have you ever been in a mood where everything felt so wrong and you don't feel like doing anything nor meet anyone? You just want to stay at home, locking yourself from the world, not talking to anybody because your heart hurts so much that you don't even have any passion anymore to do things you love. You stop believing everyone, even your bestest friends, and chose to keep the burden for yourself. You feel like escaping from reality. You just feel really terrible, everything's unfair, and you don't want to live anymore. Soooooo...... emo!

Well, I felt that way yesterday. I passed classes and even choir activity. I locked myself in my room, refuse to talk to anybody. There is NOBODY home yesterday so I didn't need to try too hard, haha. Anyway, feeling all gloomy and sad really waste a lot of energy. Even just laying in bed with head filled with problems made me tired, so I decided to distract myself from those thoughts by trying watching some Jdramas. The result of me being all emo is 2 movies and 1 dorama, in a day. Yeah, call me freak, fanatic, whatever, but those movies and doramas really brighten up my mood, and even I learned a lot from those that I can't stop watching haha :")

Sep. 15th, 2012

The Beauty of Dream

Assalamualaikum. Wr. Wb.

* Another friend of mine has been chosen to be one of models in UIN Fashion Fair Model Hunt 2012. She's getting closer to her dream to be a designer.

* Another friend of mine is about to leave this country to Sakura nation for schoolarship, her dream is coming true.

* Another friend of mine wins Indonesia Kpop Cover 2012 and is chosen as Indonesia's representative to participate in World Kpop Cover Contest 2012. Another dreams of her has been accomplished.

I'm still seeing many of other dreams are getting closer to be reached. So many great people around me. One word for these pals: Inspiring.

You know, some people don't try too hard to inspire others. They're just simply doing their best in anything they do and voilaaa.... they will inspired you without they even realize it. Subhanallah... :)

Wassalamualaikum. Wr. Wb

Mar. 18th, 2012

Fandom is a scary place

I've been innactive with livejournal for these past few months because I'm in the middle of my college life. Then I came across this hate entry talking about Kamichan and I can't help but wanted to comment on that. I'm a writer in my country, and I love Kamichan's writing. I don't mind if he's a gay. I don't care if he's a pedophile whatsoever because as long as I know him, I never heard any news about him raping any kids in real life. He's actually quite nice because I've talked to him a few times. So, some people in that hate entry were kinda mad at me because of my 'very bad' English and because I support that 42 y-o man. Now my messages box filled with many hate comments. So yeah, hater does have a lot of free time. But I don't. I have a bunch of college and organization things that I have to do so I'm not gonna reply to the comments anymore. At least not now. Life is so much more than that to live. Have a nice day. :)

Nov. 1st, 2011

ハッピーハロウィン

I want to wear Tegomasu's costume in Mahou no Melody PV~ :P
I hope everyone have a nice day.

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